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太多的因数了……好怕好怕……

是为什么呢？感觉进来的他越来越容易生气我了……是因为我的本性足渐显示出来了吗？我就知道会这样……

改……何其容易？

怕，会让人变得小心翼翼，而过渡小心翼翼就会有反效果了……我就是常这样子……

因为实在是太怕失去你了……

人都是这样子的吗？

这几天时常都发生类似的事……不喜欢这种感觉……

要开学咯~开学了就很难有机会一起了~

我也是要节制点咯~^^

加油拉

I woke this morning, a Friday....happy it is the end of the week.....opened my bedroom door and my two Siamese cats (a 10 yr old and fatter one and a 1 yr old, slim) are outside the bedroom door. The SMELL hits me...someone sh*t.� The little one is meowing, wandering through my legs. The big one is hunched down, looking sheepish, probably can sense that I am upset. I glare at him and immediately begin looking for a pile --none. I also wonder how He got upstairs! I put the baby gate at the top of the steps to keep him and the dog from coming up since I recently cleaned the carpets. The little one --well, there's no keeping him from ANY where! Gate was still up, no pile.

I head downstairs and see a dog scoot mark on the carpet....I'm thinking, that smell is STRONG for a scoot mark! I grab the trusty spot bot, fill it with carpet cleaner & water and set it to clean both areas, glaring at the dog, giving the big cat an apologetic look. I eat breakfast and make my coffee, let out the dog & feed him and feed the cats. As I am ready to go out the door, I see a HUGE pile of poop between our chair and TV. It's a juicy one...not just a dried pile of poo. I stand about 10 feet away, can smell it and am trying not to gag (being pregnant heightens your sense of smell, btw).

My wonderful husband ended up cleaning it (blech)....thank GAWD. I'm pretty sure I would have lost my lunch/dinner or whatever if I had to clean it when I got home. With a morning going like this, I am glad I have friends. In explaining this to one of my BFF's, she shared a similar story stating that while cleaning up the mess she puked and peed her pants --which is EXACTLY what would have happened to me! That made me laugh out loud at work and realize that this too...............shall pass.

8am mail from Mr. T.� forwarded chain

Environment audit.� Were business requirements appropriate and was "quality delivery" achieved.� This is regarding the failed Ruby/Rails project RTB.

RTB was killed because of issues bringing it in-house.� But they still want to do Ruby/Rails elsewhere.� There is another project BTI to do just that, but it isn't related to RTB.

Mr. T. replied that I had solved the template issues with bringing it in-house, but by the time I was able to get around the problem, they'd already decided to terminate the project due to the cost.� (Good enough as it is)� Asked me to confirm.

My reply:� XXX, you are correct.� The environment is standing, there is 500GB of SAN attached and it was ready for deployment when the project was killed.� I've been waiting final word on decom/reclaim for destruction of the env.

9am Remembered to send Becky an email telling her I fixed the outbound email issue from last night.

10- Slick sent email with an NFS on ESX pdf.

10ish - Finished reconciling and installing packages for Pooh Bear on delphi.� LM RHEL5_x64 beta Oracle test box.� Let him know.

2PM Portal LDAP Meeting� dial in

LDAP boxes are hideously downrev in prod.� Currently set to dual cpu with SMP kernel, need to be set down to single CPU/non-smp.� Update packages, patches, errata, kernel, bounce, recompile tools, restart networking, remove tools & kernel source, and done.

Other changes going on too.� New rollout.� Discussion of when/where/order, etc.� They agree to let me roll first with my changes, I can do it in 1 hour, 2 at most.� They'll give me a window next week.� Monday.� Get it done in Dev.� Dev server is apollo over on texoma.

I sent email at 3pm sic it app dev web with notice for downtime of 1-2:30pm on Monday for Apollo.� Set lock on calendar time.

If Apollo goes oka, proceed to demeter & hestia on Tuesday.

Oliver says I'll get call to exchange laptop next week.

There was the flicker of a light
The spark went out, and a cloud covered over me
Just like the cigarettes you exhaled into my face
My words were filtered with your smoky breathe
As you stuck your tongue down my throat
And I began to choke from the polluted words you spoke
There was no more trust, there was no more I could stand to hear
There was a burn in my heart
And it shriveled up like a raisin
The intoxicated raisin which is so hard to bear

OK so 2wks ago a friend moved in to my house...she moved from haivn an apartment� to livin wit me n my parents....i feel soooo bad.. n she knows that....then another thing is that i have obc and bp web sites....once i told her bout them she gets them n is gettin blown up like crazy makin me feel ugly....she is pretty but she really in to her self to...so when she knows she's lookin good she's like damn i look good and well take pics like crazy of her self...for example...last sat night we BOTH were look freakin amazing she used my camara n all the pic on there were of her...only 3 of me...grrr she a good freind n shit n were goin in to the navy that y she moved in...to support eachother.....grrrrrrr im just soo fustreated n w/ she being a lil consided is not helping....damn damn damn i just know what to do....everyone who i have to talk to about this n told them how i feel are like ur cute too blah blah blah...well i must not but that bomb.....ok soo now im dont venting ...pls let me kno what u think...if im stupid for think like this or what....

~Dianna~

9Am - 4pm All day working session on ESX remediation.� yay.� lunch provided.� Slick and Skipper were there.�

I had a 'flexible workplace' meeting today but I bailed on it because I had to do this ESX thing.� It was a whole lot more important.� I did send a late decline message answering the question they asked.�

PFF:

Email from Matt T. asking about the Tomcat to Was Migration for Prod.� Someone says that our environment doens't recover well after "change controls".� Needs to know why.

This is the first I've heard of that.� Nobody has ever told me that we have any issues after change controls.� What change controls?� What kinds of problems are we seeing?� What do you mean Tomcat doesn't recover well after a change control?� WTF?

I shot an email back stating as such.�

Saw Matt in the hallway of P2 near war room and explained the situation with his email.� It's all over the place that we're having issues after CC, but nobody tells ME about it?� I need to know what the issues are.� He says after recent change control windows something has happened that caused the PFF apps to behave funny.� Tomcat specifically.� I said that other changes can't really affect their env. because they're isolated.� Other than their systems authenticate against the prod portal LDAP servers.� He will get back to me.

ESX Meeting:

All the players were there.��� Slick, Skipper, Hooper,� Margie, Cartman, Grandpa Simpson, Thug, and of course yours truly.

We spend the morning arguing over items above our process.� Discussing what items we have to provide to the architects so they can provide it to the Salty Dogs who run the joint.

We get almost nothing done other than to auger in the point that management makes bad decisions based on information they get from the architects that is apparently not based on any sort of reality because they never ask the engineers who can never build a proper environment because expectations are unrealistic.

ok.� I get it.� Let's fucking move on already.

Noonish, break for lunch.� We actually carpooled everybody together and drove over to Pita Jungle to share lunch.� That was kooky stuff.� I never met people who hadn't eaten baba ganouj before and were visibly shaken by the sight of it.�

Misc:

Next up was Mr. T copying me on a thread from Matt on estimates for time in executing the cutover from Tomcat to WAS.� (Because Ash won't support Tomcat even though he knew for 5 months that it was coming and could have prepared.)

I estimated 8 hours for my time.� Becky estimated 40 for hers.� All I really have to do is unmount the volume I have currently attached to /opt and remount it over to /apps.� Make the changes in fstab and give it a reboot.� I might drop in some patches too while I'm at it.� That should allow me enough room for Becky to add WAS to the systems and grow them a bit.�

Howard copied me on an email that went to Grandpa Simpson and Cartman.� tkt454879� Needs ports open between monitoring systems & all WAS/Portal boxes.� Needs by Jun 12.� Nothing for me here folks, I don't fuck with firewalls.

Mr. T told everybody to get signed up for Sametime because I'm W@H till October and IM rules.

After Lunch, ESX Meeting:

I decided enough was enough and I got up and took control of the board and meeting.� I started a flow chart and walked us through my idea of a typical build cycle.� Our current system is nothing like this, but this is what I want to see.

Project initiate feeds to architecture, architecture needs to consult with various heads of State.� Those are such countries as SAN, Systems, Security, Network, Applications, Backups, Facilities, Deveopment, and the like.� They are nations unto themselves.

The architecture guys (I think of them as gnomes) collect the info we provide and then take it back for review.� That allows them to get more accurate estimates of time, cost, development, etc.

The Salty Dogs who run the Ship can then make a better decision about which direction they want to sail us in.� (And I have to say, the guys who run this ship are some pretty alright fellows.)

Now at that point, you get a Go/No-Go decision.� The heads of State are clued in about a new project in the spec cycle, and can gauge growth capacity vs expectations, and get a good idea of what sort of budgeting they need to consider.

Each head of State needs to know their process and have it documented.� That's what we need to do.� Everybody document what they need and where their calculations are and what the dependencies are and get back together next week, Friday the mother-farkin-13th to discuss.

We get unanimous approval of my process and concepts, agree on the meeting time I propose and we're done for the day.� Meeting adjourned.

MTG : Portal LDAP slowness troubleshooting Friday 6/6 2-3pm

Sent email to Oliver about swapping out my laptop from an x60 to a t60 so I can get a second monitor with a decent resolution.�

4:13pm Slick sent visio & meeting minutes from the meeting

Drive home.

"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." - Christopher Morley